Parenting Stress During the Pandemic

Warning Signs of Stress

Taking good care of yourself begins by recognizing the warning signs of stress in your life. Take a closer look at the list below and see if you recognize signs of stress in yourself.

• frequently feeling low in energy
• irritable with the children or family members
• difficulty making decisions
• loss of the joy of life
• changes in sleeping habits, excessive sleeping or difficulty sleeping
• loss of appetite or excessive appetite
• headaches and stomach aches
• muscle tension leading to pain in the neck or back
• inability to concentrate

Ways to Reduce Stress

Does trying to balance busy schedules between family and work seem almost impossible at times? Do you find yourself ready to scream or yell at the kids for the least little thing?

When this happens, it means that you are probably stressed and need to take time to refocus and take a break. Here are some ways to help. When you are feeling overwhelmed, have a special toy or activity for your child to use while you take a break. This will be special for your child that they can play only during this time. Make sure that your child is safe, then go to another room or to another area. Lie down for a few minutes, place a cool washcloth on your face, and relax.

After you return, tell your child why you are angry or upset. If your child's behaviors are what made you angry, explain to your child that you are not upset at them but what they did. Talk about the behavior when you are calm and address how it can be avoided in the future.

When your child goes to bed, take time for yourself. Relax - read a book, listen to music, take a bath, call a friend. Self-care does not mean being selfish.

Find a hobby that you enjoy. This can be something like needlework, gardening, doing puzzles, carpentry, painting, or playing an instrument. Make sure you schedule time for yourself regularly, even if only for a short time.

Where are Your Friends?

It is tough to keep friendships going after you have children. It is even tougher to survive without them!

It is a simple truth. A parent needs other parents. Whether you have one child, two, three, or more, there is nothing so reassuring as checking in with another parent in the same circumstances.

Unfortunately, getting together with friends is often the last thing we have time for when our children are young. When you find yourself tired and exhausted after a long day confined in your home, the thought of having a chat with a close friend quickly sinks to the bottom of your priority list. Friends are the best prevention for stress. When you are feeling alone and overwhelmed picking up the telephone to call a friend can be the best medicine. You might discover that you are both having the same problems and by the time you hang up the phone she has you laughing again.

It is hard to think of a night out with friends the same way right now. But consider setting up a virtual Zoom party with other parents. Wait until the children fall asleep. Share funny stories of the day. And enjoy it, knowing that it is good for your family as well as you.

Things to do with Kids

Play is a great stress reliever for kids and adults alike. The following are ideas for stress-reducing activities.

Paper Ripping

Let your kids have a "ripping good time" with old newspapers. Give them a stack of old newspapers to rip and tear in any way that they want. Kids can crumple the paper into balls and throw the balls all over. The balls are soft and safe.

Finger painting

Cover a table with an old plastic tablecloth, shower curtain, or newspaper. Give your child large pieces of paper and finger paint. Using their fingers, hands, and even elbows, kids can have fun finger painting.

Active Play

Make sure that your child has a chance for active play every day. Running, riding bikes, climbing activities, and playing ball are good for physical development and to relieve stress.

Laugh Together

Take time to be silly together. Sing silly songs or read funny poems or stories. Laughter is a great way to prevent stress.

Play dough

Give your child play dough to make shapes and many things. The squeezing and pounding of play dough are a good way to reduce stress. Try this recipe for play dough — your kids love to help make this.

What You Need

• bowl,
• spoon for mixing,
• 3 cups flour,
• 1 cup salt,
• 1 cup water,
• food coloring,
• 1 tablespoon cooking oil

Mix the flour and salt in the bowl. Add water, a few drops of food coloring, and oil. Mix, then knead until smooth.

Remember that self-care doesn't mean being selfish. The children benefit from the time that you take to recharge and reconnect with them.

Adapted from the Penn State Extension Better Kid Care Parents Count (March 2000), "Parent Stress." Revision by Jacqueline Amor-Zitzelberger.