Strengthen Relationships With Children

When you think about your goals for the day, the week, or the year, remember to include your family in that focus. Actively working to strengthen your family relationships is always a worthwhile effort.

Research shows that positive parent-child relationships are associated with higher levels of adolescent self-esteem, happiness, and life satisfaction, and lower levels of emotional and physical distress. Close parent-child relationships also have been linked to safer sex behaviors among adolescents and lower use of alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana.

Below are some ideas on how you can strengthen your relationship with your child:

• Spend one-on-one time alone with your children. Take turns with each child in the family for a special time. Consider designating a certain date and time each week or month to spend time together. You could go out for breakfast, play a board game, or go for a walk together. The time you spend together can let your child know you really care.
• While one-on-one time is important, time together as a family is equally important. Plan time for family fun. Let your child help plan family events and outings. It could be having a family game night, going for walks together, or taking a trip to a place the entire family wants to visit. Time spent doing fun things together helps build a reserve of good feelings that can help you get through hard times.
• Eat dinner together as a family. Mealtime provides a great opportunity for family communication and bonding. Ask family members to share how their day went. Congratulate each other on accomplishments and encourage those who had a bad day. Research show that children who regularly eat meals with their family have higher academic scores and reduced use of tobacco, alcohol and drugs use.
• Use driving time to talk. Most parents spend lots of time driving their children to lessons, ball games, and other activities. Parents can use this time to find out how their kids' day went or help their children problem solve if they raise concerns. Children may be more willing to open up while in the car than when they are at home.
• Notice good behavior. Make praise specific and frequent. Young people learn better from positive actions (encouragement and extra privileges) than from negative ones (punishment or losing privileges). Make it a daily practice to notice some positive aspect of your child. You may tell them great job for completing a chore, congratulate them for getting a good grade, or compliment them on how they look.
• Give a reward. Use special privileges and one-on-one time to reward good behavior. Rewards can include staying up later on the weekend, having a friend over, or going to a movie.
• Write special notes for your children. You can express your love for your child, wish them a good day at school, or provide encouragement. Leave them where they'll find them, like in a lunch tote or backpack.
• Plan a little surprise for your child that you know he or she will really appreciate. Perhaps it's a trip to the park after school or watching a movie with popcorn in the evening.
• Consider your child's perspective. Often adults forget what it was like to be your child's age. Take that into consideration when communicating with him. Listen to your child and respect his feelings. Show empathy and understanding when your child shares concerns.
• Be an engaged parent. Attend your child's events, such as parent teacher conferences, concerts, and sports activities. This demonstrates to your child that school and extracurricular activities are valuable and worthwhile.  Your child will also know that you care about them and they are loved and supported by you.

Resolve to spend time with your children to build stronger ties. Have fun together, listen and keep the lines of communication open, praise often, and show love and support. By making a special effort to build and nurture your relationship with your child, you will strengthen bonds and help your child become a productive and successful young adult.