The Emotional Health of Our Children

Let's look at how traumatic events effect the emotional health of our children. Unlike adults, children are more emotionally vulnerable to the events that disrupt their daily routines. COVID-19 changed the everyday lives of all of us. Their sense of structure, predictability and security have been interrupted. As adults, we can adjust. But many children may struggle with the significant adjustments needed in their lives now.

Besides not going to school or childcare, interacting with peers, teachers, and others, children are now confined to home. They are keen observers of their environment and the people in it, so even if you can keep them away from the media and conversation about the pandemic, they may still have questions. Some children don't even have the words to ask.

The uncertainty of these unanswered questions may be seen in children as behavior changes. They worry not only about themselves, but those around them, their safety, their basic needs, and the uncertainty for the future. Young children are very sensitive to the stress experienced by their caregivers. It affects their emotions and ability to act in their usual ways.  While most children will adjust because they receive consistent support from sensitive and responsive adults, others may not fair as well. 

These children are at-risk of developing trauma-related health issues. These may include mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Children with prior traumatic experiences or those living with caregivers who struggle with mental health disorders, substance misuse or economic instability are at a higher risk for emotional disturbances. We must not only care for our children's physical safety but for their emotional health as well.

As children display changes in behaviors, even challenging ones, it is important that the adults respond with patience, empathy and calmness. Children need consistent, sensitive care. Quality time and social connections with adults who are not just physically but emotionally present is essential. Maintaining routines provide children with a sense of safety and predictability, and supports children's development of regulation. Validate their feelings by reassuring them that their feelings are understandable.  Give them tools to deal with their feelings by modeling self-regulation techniques such as deep breathing, exercise and listening to calm music.

Children need to keep busy with play and other joyful learning experiences. Consider using this time together to increase your child's self-efficacy or a sense of their ability to succeed. Children need to play an active role in helping themselves and others.

Here is a short list of great books:

• Because Amelia Smiled by David Ezra Srein;
• The Peace Book by Tedd Parr;
• Harvesting Hope! The Story of Cesar Chavez by Kathleen Krull;
• The Story Tellers Candle by Lucia Gonzalez;
• The Invisible String by Patrice Karst;
• It's Okay That You're Not Okay by Megan Devine;
• The Power of Showing Up by Daniel Siegel; and
• We are the Gardeners by Joanna Gains.

Consider these wonderful options and many others to share with your children during reading time.

Be aware of your children's emotional needs as well as your own. If you or the children need to reach out for help, contact your family doctor or local counselors.  Several professionals are now able to meet via the "Teldoc" app.  Reach out to family and friends via phone or internet to stay connected and ask for support.

Note that you may not see changes right away. Be as observant as your children during this difficult time. With your support, children will learn a valuable lesson of resiliency and compassion.